Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Jack Bauer. That's all you need to know.

Dammit Chloe!!!!
Needless to say to 24 fans worldwide, Jack is indeed back. Beaten, torture-scarred, nasty acid-burned hand, malnourished, and deadlier than ever...

Jack is back, and after two years in a Chinese water torture chamber, he readily accepts dying for the red white and blue; but when he realizes the US government was duped by a lying terrorist (is there any other kind??), he escapes by ripping out the nearest jugular with his teeth. Think Jack will spare Curtis when he stands in the way of the only link to the terrorists? Forget about it. Jack shoots him point-blank the only way he knows how; in the throat, of course. Obviously in homage to his buddy, dead President Palmer. Clearly Jack's brother will not be getting any special treatment, unless the plastic bag over the head is some sort of childhood game. Speaking of which, whats with all the family in LA Jack has all of the sudden? It's like he stumbled across the Bauer Family Reunion Picnic or something...

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